Thus far in our exploration of Dr. George Gopen and Dr. Judy Swan's advice to scientific writers (found in their article "The Science of Scientific Writing"), we've learned the importance of close subject-verb placement, the proper use of stress positions, and the benefits of appropriately structured topic positions. The real strength of these techniques, however, lies in their ability to identify logical gaps, areas where important information has been unconsciously omitted. To illustrate this, let's take a look at Gopen and Swan's next example.
"The enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC) has been determined by direct measurement. dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsilyl groups to obtain solubility of the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. From isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dC:dG base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
We can see some familiar issues right away: the subject is separated from the verb in the first sentence; "enthalphy" is mentioned in the first and last sentences, but nowhere in between; and the new material worthy of emphasis in the second sentence is not immediately apparent. By making some assumptions about the relative importance of the new material introduced here, Gopen and Swan produce the following revision:
"We have directly measured the enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC). dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsilyl groups; these groups serve both to solubilize the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. From isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dC:dG base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
We're starting to get an idea of what the original authors did, but we're no clearer on the connection between the derivatization with triisopropylsilyl groups and the measurement of enthalpy than we were before: once the sentences have been restructured to highlight the link between one topic and the next, it only becomes more apparent that that linkage isn't there. In all likelihood, the connection between the derivatization and the enthalpy measurements was so obvious to the authors that it never occurred to them to make it explicit, and some specialized readers might also be able to "jump" the logical gap. For those without extensive background in this area, however, Gopen and Shaw supply what they think the missing information might be, and complete their revision thusly:
"We have directly measured the enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC). dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsiyl groups; these groups serve both to solubilize the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. Consequently, when the derivatized nucleosides are dissolved in non-aqueous solvents, hydrogen bonds form almost exclusively between the bases. Since the interbase hydrogen bonds are the only bonds to form upon mixing, their enthalpy of formation can be determined directly by measuring the enthalpy of mixing. From our isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dG:dC base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
With the two linking sentences inserted into the paragraph, the connection between each sentence and the next become clear, and the paragraph becomes understandable even by those whose last experience with chemistry was during their undergraduate years. Here, the power of a thorough understanding of reader expectations becomes apparent: with these guidelines in mind, it is possible to create writing that is accessible to nearly everyone, not just to the specialists in your own narrow field. When writing your own manuscripts, it is also worthwhile to remember that even specialist reviewers and readers often have limited time to read the literature. They will thank you for making the experience more efficient!
I'd intended to wrap up our study of reader expectations this week, but there's still one major topic left to cover. In the interest of keeping the blog posts short and easily digestible, I decided to postpone the last topic, with a recap of all the major reader expectations, until next time. If you can't stand the suspense, head on over to The American Scientist to check out the original article!
"The enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC) has been determined by direct measurement. dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsilyl groups to obtain solubility of the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. From isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dC:dG base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
We can see some familiar issues right away: the subject is separated from the verb in the first sentence; "enthalphy" is mentioned in the first and last sentences, but nowhere in between; and the new material worthy of emphasis in the second sentence is not immediately apparent. By making some assumptions about the relative importance of the new material introduced here, Gopen and Swan produce the following revision:
"We have directly measured the enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC). dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsilyl groups; these groups serve both to solubilize the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. From isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dC:dG base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
We're starting to get an idea of what the original authors did, but we're no clearer on the connection between the derivatization with triisopropylsilyl groups and the measurement of enthalpy than we were before: once the sentences have been restructured to highlight the link between one topic and the next, it only becomes more apparent that that linkage isn't there. In all likelihood, the connection between the derivatization and the enthalpy measurements was so obvious to the authors that it never occurred to them to make it explicit, and some specialized readers might also be able to "jump" the logical gap. For those without extensive background in this area, however, Gopen and Shaw supply what they think the missing information might be, and complete their revision thusly:
"We have directly measured the enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC). dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsiyl groups; these groups serve both to solubilize the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. Consequently, when the derivatized nucleosides are dissolved in non-aqueous solvents, hydrogen bonds form almost exclusively between the bases. Since the interbase hydrogen bonds are the only bonds to form upon mixing, their enthalpy of formation can be determined directly by measuring the enthalpy of mixing. From our isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dG:dC base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol."
With the two linking sentences inserted into the paragraph, the connection between each sentence and the next become clear, and the paragraph becomes understandable even by those whose last experience with chemistry was during their undergraduate years. Here, the power of a thorough understanding of reader expectations becomes apparent: with these guidelines in mind, it is possible to create writing that is accessible to nearly everyone, not just to the specialists in your own narrow field. When writing your own manuscripts, it is also worthwhile to remember that even specialist reviewers and readers often have limited time to read the literature. They will thank you for making the experience more efficient!
I'd intended to wrap up our study of reader expectations this week, but there's still one major topic left to cover. In the interest of keeping the blog posts short and easily digestible, I decided to postpone the last topic, with a recap of all the major reader expectations, until next time. If you can't stand the suspense, head on over to The American Scientist to check out the original article!
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